Thanksgiving is around the corner and as we enter the month of November, I have been thinking a lot about the gift of feeling grateful.

In The Five Element Theory, the fall season is represented by the element of Metal. Metal is associated with clarity, structure, and the ability to let go. Embracing these qualities brings balance and harmony to our mental and emotional wellbeing.

I recently have not been feeling as grateful as I would like to. I knew I needed to find clarity around what was causing it and came to realize there were some old stories playing out in my head that were deflecting the gratitude I longed to feel.

The pattern and narrative is always the same. I find I overdo for others and then a part of me feels depleted, so I go into a story about how people don’t see me for what I do. I realize that’s not fair because not everyone operates like I do, but it still doesn’t feel good to think I am not appreciated or that others aren’t grateful for what I do for them.

I finally realized this old strategy does not work! It is an error in approach because gratitude is an inside job. You have to align yourself to a place of gratitude; other people can’t give that to you. It’s hard to feel gratitude when you’re mad. I can be grateful because I love to do what I do. It gives me enormous pleasure to do nice things for people. To plan fun events and see how much everyone enjoys them, for example, makes me so happy. I can hope people feel grateful, but the gratitude I feel is not dependent upon it.

Finding gratitude for yourself can be a deeply enriching experience. Here are a couple of things that worked for me:

  • Reflect on your accomplishments – Acknowledge yourself for all your accomplishments both big and small.
  • Practice Self-Compassion: Watch the stories you tell yourself and have a kind inner voice. Pretend your speaking to a good friend
  • Celebrate your uniqueness: Embrace what makes you unique, be grateful for the things you are able to do for others that bring you so much joy.
  • Self-Care: Prioritize people, places and things that support, comfort and nurture you. And always remember to manage your expectations of yourself and others.

I hope you find these ideas helpful, especially as we head into the holidays and everyone is juggling so many things.

I am so grateful to our Five Wellbeing community. We appreciate your support and on behalf of all of us, we wish you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving!

In Wellbeing,

Betsy